itching for "later".

hello, again, blog o' mine. no, i haven't forsaken thee.
just been busy. or at work, where there are dumb blocks on certain sites,
such as blogspot.com. (like they want me to WORK or something??!!)
sure, i can go look at blogs all day (which i do), but when i desire to sign in and join the fun .. oh no. it blocks me. in the rudest way.

so, here i am. taking my good pal Jenna's advice, and typing my blog in an email, to post at a later time, on a computer WITHOUT limitations. :) oops. was i not supposed to tell you that?? oh well ..

i am in a very weird season. it's not my fav. (autumn is my fav, if you were curious)
it's alot of waiting and wondering .. being unsure, trusting.

i'm a risk taker. or at least i like to think i am.
i don't like taking the "wise" road,
or doing what everyone thinks i "should be" doing.
i revel in the thrill of doing the opposite of usual.
yet, sometimes .. SOMEtimes .. i have that slight pinch of fear.
i fear that i am not prepared enough for this next "risk", or that a few years from now, i will regret not taking the school route and getting a "grown up job".

but, then, the rebellion kicks in again,
and i fold my arms, stomp my feet and say "NO!".
i refuse to ignore my heart.
i refuse to live a life always doing the "smart" thing.
using what we naively call "wisdom", as a crutch to avoid jumping off the cliff.


here's the deal, i will probably ALWAYS look back at my life
and wish i could go back and "tweak" a few things ..
like choosing better looking boys to waste my time with .. ha! kidding. kind of ..

but, seriously .. every choice we make affects who we become.
which can be completely overwhelming, but the refreshing side of it is that God's grace on our human-ness is that He really will guide our steps and light our path, when our hearts are FOR Him. me and my crazy flesh are in dire need of that grace. for real.

cheers to jumping off the cliff!