i was writing this the other day..thought i'd share...
i have a feeling this will be long, so i'll be proud if anyone gets through it..
i've been thinking alot about "grace" lately. the grace i need in my life, the grace i need to give ..just grace in general. and when i say i've been thinking, i mean, it's been tugging at my heart and the back of my mind for a while now..in the "push away until you HAVE to face" closet.
i feel like we, especially "Christians", tend to "run out" of grace quite often.
i was talking to my good friend the other day about how many times, in relationships, we say "when do i say enough is enough?" or "i'm at my limit" or "my grace is up".
**now, don't get me wrong, i say these things on a constant, so no judgement comin from this blog, just passing on the little "revelation" that's hit me..**
I've had a hard time giving grace. I want so badly in my relationships to say "enough is enough". To draw the line in the sand and not be anyone's doormat.
yet, at the same time, i know i'm in need of the same grace. and i KNOW i have made others feel like a doormat. an invisible doormat, even.
but, here's something to chew on:
if this grace we're giving to our brothers and sisters is the same grace that we've been FREELY given, then it's NOT OURS.
meaning, the grace is coming from One who is ENDLESS.
hence,
this grace we're giving .. should be ENDLESS.
Think about it, NOTHING i attempt to give you on my own is going to be good. The ONLY "good" in me is Him. Even people that don't consider themselves "Christians" but are good, compassionate, "loving" people, will eventually end up un-satisfied.
God IS love. end of story.
when we attempt to love, or be gracious, or compassionate out of our own will and strength, it will ALWAYS end ugly.
someone will always get hurt, because we are selfish.
so, where does this leave us?
in the daily decision to surrender.
i truly believe that at the greatest point of our weakness, especially in relationships, when we want to say "enough is enough", or "my grace is up", is when the line is drawn in the sand.
this is where i believe "they will know we are Christians by our love" will actually be true. when we choose to PERSEVERE, but not in our own strength.
making a DAILY choice, to make the Lord loving through you, your life.
choosing to not be offended, to not be hurt, to not be self seeking.
this, my friends, is when i believe our motives will begin to be purified, our hearts will be washed, and our lives will become effective in the most powerful way to everyone around us and in our lives.
i don't want to love like the world does,
dangling on expectations and conditions.
i want to learn REAL love and practice it.
and finally start to become who i was created to be..
